First, as a brief preface: Praise be to Allah, for he has permitted the return of brother al-Sonic to the fold of Hitchhunters. To Hitchhunters, he is much akin to the 12th imam, and his return from the Occultation as prophesied means we will soon witness a final apocalyptic showdown with the Great Sachens, and then world peace and justice shall be ushered in for the entire blogosphere. And I think we can safely say that this finally puts to rest these outrageous Zionist lies that al-Sonic had somehow been killed by the Crusaders with their Predator Troll attacks. He is alive and healthy, and constantly in contact with us. So, Death to the Dictator Hitchens! hitchens is not great! hitchens is not great!

It's been hard not to notice that lately our Popinjay has been fluttering around quite a bit, flaring his feathers, showing off his plumage, and attracting a fair amount of attention with this latest little publicity stunt of his, namely calling for the arrest of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI. Look at me! Christopher Hitchens! The world-renowned atheist! Buy my book available at fine bookstores everywhere! etc.. etc..

You know, just because Hitchens is jealous that Ratzinger is now far more likely to be the Anti-Christ than he is, that's no reason for him to lash out on the poor Pontiff like this. I mean, let's face it, Ratzinger's record on the abuse scandal as Pope is already far better than John Paul's was, or any other Pope on this question in the entire history of the Papacy for that matter, and as wicked and criminal as Ratzinger is, even he didn't support something as monstrous and evil as the gratuitous slaughter of say, I dunno, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis for no good reason. But why bring up ancient history like that, right? Yes, it's truly hard to say who the more morally despicable human being overall is here: Ratzy, or the Big H?

Due to all this, Hitchens Watch has now officially launched a global campaign calling for the arrest of the archcriminal Chris Hitchens for his "crimes against humanity." We've got a whole skyscraper full of lawyers on this doggedly working round the clock at Hitchens Watch worldwide headquarters in Dubai, constructing an airtight legal case as we speak. Admittedly it's going to be an uphill battle, so our lawyers better come up with something good or they're not getting their visas back.

At the same time though, we may end up having to spare Hitchens' worthless life on this one. For even though Hitchens is a flawed vessel to make a moral indictment of the One True Church, to put it politely (considering for instance that of all the candidates in the historic 2008 Presidential Election, our Hitch chose the most Papist one of all, one whom was even tied to the abuse scandal), nevertheless, if CH is going to bloviate on something, at least it's something substantive and worth going on about. Unlike his usual Slate column that is, which everyone knows these days is half the time him feigning outrage over a Muslim whistling at a white woman, or something on that level.