London's Times online has released an excerpt of Hitch's upcoming memoir. In this bit, Hitch writes about drinking...responsibly. He gives us a series of incredibly trite rules for drinking:

Don’t drink on an empty stomach: the main point of the refreshment is the enhancement of food.

Negative. The main point of a drink is to get buzzed.

Don’t drink if you have the blues: it’s a junk cure. Drink when you are in a good mood.

So, if you're in a bad mood, you should just absorb all the pain and turn to the Power of Positive Thinking? Sounds like advice for suckers.

Cheap booze is a false economy.

That depends entirely on how much money you have. Baltika 9 is, plainly, good economy.

It’s not true that you shouldn’t drink alone: these can be the happiest glasses you ever drain.

Agreed.

Avoid all narcotics: these make you more boring rather than less and are not designed — as are the grape and the grain — to enliven company.

You would know from experience? Narcotics are no worse than alcohol. It's just a different high depending on what you take. Everybody has a drug of choice.

It’s much worse to see a woman drunk than a man: I don’t know why this is true but it is. Don’t ever be responsible for it.

This is just a ridiculous and even sexist thing to write. It ain't true, buddy boy, and I honestly don't know what the hell you're talking about.