Two years and a bit ago, brave Sir Christopher plucked up the nerve to tell his Slate readership that "we" should abolish the CIA, mostly because their "policy of caution" over Iran didn't suit his masters' agenda, but also because in his view their destruction of interrogation (read "torture session") tapes amounted to mutiny and treason.
Why, then, have our intelligence agencies helped to give the lying Iranian theocracy the appearance of a clean bill, while simultaneously and publicly (and with barely concealed relish) embarrassing the president and crippling his policy? It is not just a hypothetical strike on Iran that is rendered near-impossible by this estimate, but also the likelihood of any concerted diplomatic or economic pressure, as well. The policy of getting the United Nations to adopt sanctions on the regime, which was about to garner the crucial votes, can now be regarded as clinically dead. A fine day's work by those who claim to guard us while we sleep.
Now Congressman Ron Paul, who is not the kind of person you would expect to find on Hitch's Christmas card list, has come up with virtually the same proposal, although for rather different reasons from those given by Christopher. Ron thinks the CIA has mounted a coup against the US government, they are in the illegal drugs business, and that the agency needs to be taken out. Whether to lunch, dinner or a firing squad he did not specify, but there probably isn't very much daylight between his proposal and Christopher's idea that "the [CIA] system is worse than useless—it's a positive menace. We need to shut the whole thing down and start again."
Speaking at a libertarians conference in Atlanta last weekend, the Congressman said:
There's been a coup, have you heard? It's the CIA coup. The CIA runs everything, they run the military. They're the ones who are over there lobbing missiles and bombs on countries. ... And of course the CIA is every bit as secretive as the Federal Reserve. ... And yet think of the harm they have done since they were established [after] World War II. They are a government unto themselves. They're in businesses, in drug businesses, they take out dictators ... We need to take out the CIA.
From this distance, as far as I can hear, the main difference between Ron Paul's message and Christopher's is that the former delivers it in a whining Texas drawl that sets off my tinitus while the latter does so with a whinging Oxford twang that brings back memories of Michael Palin's Ripping Yarns. Of course, I love 'em both, but at the same time I'm shocked to hear them both waxing so negative about the people who spy on us (for our own good, you understand) while we sleep.
But if they really are serious, they might like to ponder the problem from the same standpoint as astronauts Dave Bowman and Frank Poole when they contemplated switching off HAL. If you remember, he ran everything too, and he didn't take kindly to suggestions that he be taken out.
Frank. OK. But look, Dave. Let's say we put the unit back and it doesn't fail, uh? That would pretty well wrap it up as far as Hal was concerned, wouldn't it? Dave. Well, we'd be in very serious trouble. Frank. We would, wouldn't we? Dave. Uh-huh. Frank. What the hell could we do? Dave. (Pause and sigh) Well, we wouldn't have too many alternatives. Frank. I don't think we'd have any alternatives. There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that's not under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning, I wouldn't see how we'd have any choice but disconnection. Dave. (Pause) I'm afraid I agree with you. Frank. There'd be nothing else to do. Dave. Be a bit tricky. Frank. Yeah. Dave. We'd have to cut his higher brain functions (Frank - mm-hmm) without disturbing the purely automatic and regulatory systems and we'd have to work out the transfer procedures and continue the mission under ground- based computer control. Frank. Yeah. Well, that's far safer than allowing Hal to continue running things. Dave. You know, another thing just occurred to me. Frank. Mm. Dave. Well, as far as I know no 9000 computer's ever been disconnected. Frank. Well, no 9000 computer's ever fouled up before. Dave. That's not what I mean. Frank. Hmm? Dave. Well, I'm not so sure what he'd think about it...
“The enemies of intolerance cannot be tolerant." • "If it is an offense to justice to hold people who may have been victims of mistaken identity or of vendettas by other factions, then it is also an offense to justice to release psychopathic killers who believe that they have divine permission to throw acid in the faces of girls who want to attend school." • "Don't be such a lesbian!
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