The things you are allowed to advertise on the sides of British buses these days are blasphemous. It's all the result of a campaign by that crypto-Satanic punk rock band Richard Dawkins and the British Humanist Association, who raised the dosh to plaster 200 London bendy buses with the message: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." Well, to be fair, the Christers started this ad war with messages of their own promising non-believing commuters eternal damnation, and the atheist response of declaring there is "probably no God" is meek and mild by comparison — unless, of course, the fire, brimstone and frilly frocks brigade really do have a hotline to the Almighty.
However, due to a rush of complaints, the Advertising Standards Authority are investigating whether or not the ads are offensive or break guidelines on taste and decency. After all, says Christian campaigner Stephen Green, "If you're going to put out what appears to be a factual statement then you have to be able to back it up. They've got to substantiate this proposition that in all probability, God doesn't exist." Which is where Hitch may come in handy. He has, after all, made something of a career out of arguing against the probability that a deity dictates our ultimate destiny, and he's even had a stint as an advocatus diaboli.
At the end of the day, belief in the existence or not of God comes down to one thing: it's a matter of faith. It is unlikely to be settled by reference to definitions of "existence", ASA guidelines, probability calculations, or even the application of DeMorgan's Theorem. Hitch has been firebombing religious faith in the most scathing, mocking and dismissive terms, but ironically, his bunker-busting efforts have achieved far less collateral damage than Dave Allen managed to inflict with his casually-tossed satirical fire crackers. Moreover, to my knowledge Hitch hasn't discussed faith in the larger sense of "belief in a proposition that is not supported by a perceived majority of evidence," which covers those of us who continue, despite growing rumours that a black whole is consuming the world economy, to pay into our life insurance and pension schemes, and those stalwart few who are convinced that Charlton Athletic are the greatest football team in England, if not the world. Does the Hitch really think those who lack his massive store of self-esteem can survive and prosper without any kind of faith at all?
The answer to those who say we need to ditch faith in order to improve, evolve or mature as a species or as individuals, would do well to listen to the wise words of the Bard of Brooklyn, who preached that you need a busload of the stuff to get by.
Lastly, here's today's quiz question. And it's a real brain teaser. What was the slogan printed on the side of the red double-decker bus that was blown up in Tavistock Square on 7 July, 2005?
“The enemies of intolerance cannot be tolerant." • "If it is an offense to justice to hold people who may have been victims of mistaken identity or of vendettas by other factions, then it is also an offense to justice to release psychopathic killers who believe that they have divine permission to throw acid in the faces of girls who want to attend school." • "Don't be such a lesbian!
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