 The Hitch-monster, during a recent stop on The Book Tour That Knows No End, er, I mean his principled and noble mission to spread secularism and enlightenment, regaled a captive crowd with his excuse for canceling on them in October:
“I’m happy to be here,” Hitchens said. “I was supposed to be here in October, but I went to Cuba to interview dictator Fidel Castro.”
Wow, what an important person he is, rubbing shoulders with the powerful and all. So Hitch, how did that interview go?
We landed in Havana around noon and were met on the tarmac by Omar Gonzalez Jimenez, president of the Cuban Film Institute, and Luis Alberto Notario, head of the institute's international co-production wing. I'd spent time with both of them on my earlier trip to Cuba. We started catching up on personal matters on the walk to the customs office, until Hitch stepped forward and unabashedly demanded of Omar, "Sir, we must see the president!" "Yes," Omar said. "We are aware of the request, and word has been passed to the president. We are still awaiting his response."... By noon of the following day, the clock was ticking loudly in our ears. We had sixteen hours left in Havana before we would have to head to the airport to catch our flights back home...
The clock was no longer ticking. It was pounding. Omar told me we would be hearing the decision of the president quite soon. Fingers crossed, Douglas, Hitch, Fernando and I went back to the protocol house to get our bags packed in advance. By 6 pm, we were on a ten-hour countdown. I was sitting downstairs in the living room, reading in the hazy late-afternoon light. Hitch and Douglas were in their upstairs quarters, I assumed napping to offset anxiety. And on the couch beside me was Fernando, snoring away.
Then Luis appeared at our open front door. I glanced over the top of my glasses as he gave me a very direct nod. Without words, I pointed questioningly up the stairs to where my companions lay. But Luis shook his head apologetically. "Only you," he said. The president had made his decision.
Ouch. I guess being a prostitute for American power, or delivering risible arguments that Fidel's voluntary hand off of power to his brother Raul was a "military coup," didn't particularly impress the Brothers Castro. Afterwords, Chris was so disappointed and burning with jealously that he didn't even ask Penn a single question about what had happened:
When I got back to the protocol house, it was nearly 2 am. My old friend Fernando, looking much the worse for wear, had waited up. My companions had had quite a night. Poor Fernando had taken the brunt of their frustration. They hadn't known where I'd gone, nor why I had left them behind. And the remaining Cuban officials they'd been able to contact had insisted they stay put, should either of the Castro brothers spontaneously offer an audience. So they had also missed out on a last Cuban night on the town. After filling me in, Fernando went to get a couple hours' sleep. I stayed up reviewing my notes and was first at the breakfast table, at 4:45 am. When Douglas and Hitch ambled down the stairs, I put the edge of the tablecloth over my head in mock shame. I guess, under the circumstances, it was a bit early (in more than just the hour) to be testing their humor. The joke didn't play. While Fernando took a separate flight to Buenos Aires, we had a quiet breakfast and a quiet flight back to home sweet home. When we arrived in Houston, I realized I'd underestimated the thick skin of these two road-worn professionals. Whatever ice I'd perceived earlier had melted. We said our goodbyes, celebrating what had been a thrilling several days. Neither had been so catty as to inquire into the content of my interview, but Christopher headed to his eastbound connection with a parting word, "Well...I guess we'll read about it."
Poor Hitch. Well not to worry, upon his return Hitchens sure got even by exposing Castro as the ultra-religious theocrat he is (take that Castro!), unlike The Great Secular Hero and Champion George W. Bush whom Hitchens has been so often forced to slavishly defend against the ignorant who somehow fail to recognize Bush's obvious atheist credentials.
But the trip wasn't a total bust though. Hitchens et al. stopped by Venezuela on the way to Cuba, and spent some considerable time with Chavez: Hitchens sits quietly, taking notes throughout the conversation. Chávez recognizes a flicker of skepticism in his eye. "CREES-to-fer, ask me a question. Ask me the hardest question." They share a smile. Hitchens asks, "What's the difference between you and Fidel?" Chávez says, "Fidel is a communist. I am not. I am a social democrat. Fidel is a Marxist-Leninist. I am not. Fidel is an atheist. I am not. One day we discussed God and Christ. I told Castro, I am a Christian. I believe in the Social Gospels of Christ. He doesn't. Just doesn't. More than once, Castro told me that Venezuela is not Cuba, and we are not in the 1960s.
That's his hardest question? Surely, it's plain as a pikestaff that notwithstanding Castro's major influence on Chavez there are no doubt colossal differences between the autocratic Marxist-Leninist "revolution" in Cuba and the radical social democratic Bolivarian movement in Venezuela. I guess Chavez caught Chris off guard or something. All and all though, it sounds like The Contrarian was a little off-put by his failed trip, to say the least. It sounds like he wasted his time in Cuba and came out looking like a bloody fool for it. |
