The last time I saw Hitchens debate, the subject was Iraq, his opponent the wide-tied British antiwar MP George Galloway. Outside Baruch College before the event, Hitch worked the line handing out Xeroxed fact sheets on his opponent—basically a collection of Galloway’s stupidest comments and proven fabrications. It was an oddly endearing sight: a disheveled Hitchens with sweaty pit rings struggling to keep his Xeroxed flyers in order against the wind, just like the guys hawking Socialist Worker and 9/11 Truth lit. It was hard to imagine many other established writers street hustling like this, a throwback to the lefty faction pamphlet politics of his youth. That night, in front of a largely anti-Hitchens crowd, Galloway proved himself a ridiculous character who did the antiwar cause no good. His performance is best remembered for the moment he told Hitchens, “You're a drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay.” I don’t think more than 10 people in the packed house knew what a popinjay was, but damn if it didn’t sound good.

Last night at the 92nd St. Y, it was Hitchens’ opponent who handed out the pre-debate flyers. But the literature distributed by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach had nothing to do with the existence of God, the subject of the night’s debate. The host of the cable program “Shalom in the Home” instead handed out contribution cards for his newly founded Jewish Values Network. The piece of paper he pushed into my palm offered zero information about the organization other than it wanted my money. The form listed donation options of $180, $360, $520, $1000, $5000, and $20,000. There was also an “other amount” option and an annual platinum membership of $2000, to be sent to a P.O. Box in Englewood.

Hitchens was a no-show at the reception. Perhaps he knew from his previous debate with Boteach that it wouldn’t be a reception so much as a forum for Boteach to plug his latest projects. Tonight this meant the Jewish Values Foundation and his new book devoted to these values, The Broken American Male. Boteach’s nineteenth book, The Broken American Male lays out a plan for American men to feel better about themselves by adopting the Jewish values of family, spiritual life, and professional success. “People are so sad these days that some companies are making a fortune selling anti-depressants,” Boteach told the reception. “Companies I wish I owned shares in!” Nobody laughed because he wasn’t joking.

The sold-out debate, which was simulcast to 11 Jewish community centers around the country, was over before it began. As Hitchens noted in his opening statement, the burden of proof was fully on his opponent. Considering this was Boteach’s second time debating Hitchens on the subject—not to mention his numerous other debates with prominent atheists, including four matches with Richard Dawkins—he was shockingly unprepared to rumble. If they had been wearing gloves, it would have been stopped 20 seconds in.

Hitchens began his opening statement with a droll “Shalom” and proceeded to lay out the argument in God Is Not Great: “We are just poorly evolved primates… Religion is merely our first and worst explanation we came up with, our first attempt at philosophy and cosmology… Slowly we’ve been winnowing down the number of Gods, getting ever closer to the real number. The history of emancipation is the history of getting over religion…Religion is wish thinking. Who but a serf wants it to be true? To believe in interventionist God you must believe God was indifferent to us for most of our history, then started to care in Bronze Age middle East… If you want to chop off the end of your penis, that’s fine, but don’t force it on children…”

Seconds into Boteach’s incoherent response it was clear the debate stage would be a killing floor. “I am so depressed after listening to that!” the rabbi declared when Hitchens was finished. His first and biggest problem with atheism, it seemed, was that it lacked the power to uplift, and hence could not possibly be true. Boteach followed this observation by noting that God Is Not Great made Hitchens a lot of money—even though atheism is supposed to be a “non-prophet faith” (no one laughed) and even though it was “his weakest book.” The Rabbi then proceeded to plug his own books (Kosher Sex is now available in paperback) and quote Jack Nicholson in People magazine talking about how men are all dogs. Boteach wound up his first response by explaining that a watermelon is not a jellyfish and the difference surely points to the existence of an interventionist god. Then he called Hitchens “positively ignorant” and sat down.

To the extent it was possible, things devolved from there. Boteach became more spastic with each exchange. He attacked Hitchens for not understanding the true meaning of Hanukah (“Google it!”) and claimed that the complexity of the human eye proves the existence of a divine all-knowing creator. He also said Steven Jay Gould did not really believe in evolution and attempted to draw a direct line between the ideas of Charles Darwin and Adolf Hitler, a trick last heard on AM Christian radio. He marveled at how the earth was perfectly positioned in the galaxy to allow life to flourish. He lambasted Dr. Kevorkian in such a way that condescended to terminal cancer patients in extreme pain. Then he sat down again.

In short, whatever one feels about Hitchens, it was impossible not to enjoy his systematic and merciless destruction of his loathsome opponent.

“There are no statements worth arguing here,” Hitchens said toward the end of the night, practically checking his watch. “All you can do is underline them.”

Winding down the clock, Boteach and Hitchens sparred over the extent of Einstein’s Zionism and whether an Israeli court ever signed off on a Jewish doctor’s refusal to treat non-Jews on the Sabbath. Hitchens showed no more patience for Boteach’s historical and political arguments (“so much white noise”) than he did for his religious ones (“wailing and bleating at an empty sky”). If Boteach understood he was suffering a severe public humiliation, he never showed it.